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Archives / 2011 / June / 10

Steve Jobs Reveals He Is an Alien, Plots Return to Home Planet

You know that massive new headquarters Apple wants to build that looks just like a spaceship? It really is a spaceship. By Dan Tynan (@tynan_on_tech) June 9, 2011 The new spaceship-shaped “headquarters” being planned by Apple actually is a spaceship, we have learned. The donut-shaped vessel, four stories tall and capable of carrying 12,000 passengers, is being built to return Jobs and and his Apple acolytes back to his native planet of ickiickiickiickipatang – Planet ‘i’ for short – by 2015. Many have commented on the extraordinary things that happen around Jobs. Last year, for example, the Apple CEO was attacked by an enormous red arrow on the streets of San Francisco. But until now, few suspected him to be of extraterrestrial origin. Now an anonymous source known only as “Mulder” has stepped forward to reveal the truth. Jobs, whose real name and birth parents remain shrouded in mystery, arrived on earth when his tiny spaceship crash landed outside Los Altos, California, in 1957. Then just a toddler wrapped in black swaddling, Jobs was found by Paul and Clara Jobs, who named him “Steve” and tried to raise him like a normal boy. Clara later knitted the swaddling clothes – made from an unearthly material designed to shield the child from the Sun’s harmful gamma rays –  into the black turtleneck “Steve” has worn ever since. Over the last few years that shield has begun to fail, sapping the life forces from Jobs and causing him to appear pale and gaunt. The return to Planet ‘i’ is an attempt to rejuvenate Jobs before he whithers away completely, sources say. Sources also revealed the iPhone was invented as a way for Jobs to phone home, though a single call required such bandwidth that it caused calls all over the country to suddenly drop. The iPad, he... Read On

More Exciting news from MIND – New App for iPad!

Challenge Your Thinking Skills with our New App for iPad! MIND Research Institute announced KickBox, its first app for iPad. KickBox is the most challenging, mind-bending puzzle game from MIND’s ST Math® software program, used by over 320,000 children nationwide at K-12 schools. It has been updated to challenge players of all ages on the iPad. Interactive iPad apps are a fun way to enrich childrens’ learning experiences both inside and outside the classroom. KickBox was designed to encourage critical thinking with 70+ puzzles. Here is a free version of the game. The full app is available for sale now on iTunes. Help us spread the word by sharing this link with friends and posting on Facebook, Twitter, etc.! Sales proceeds support MIND’s math education programs for schools. Read On